BigDog Speaks

Do you ever have mornings where you get up with so many aches and pains you want to run out to the shop and smack your thumb with a sledge hammer just to consolidate them? That's where I am this morning. If you haven't done that yet, you either aren't old enough or you aren't DOING enough.

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All those aches and pains lets you know you're alive! It doesn't matter that you can barely hobble from your favorite chair to the coffee pot, the point is, you're ALIVE and feeling every one of those electronic jolts being passed around from your pain sensors! I figure everybody needs to overdo once in awhile just so they can experience the joy of a hot compress, a comfortable chair, and perhaps a shot or two of Turkey to take the edge off. Yes, ALL of us have the capacity and knowledge to know when to say when, yet we will continue doing with a complete disregard until we reach my current state of aches and pains. Fortunately, we don't do that very often or we would all be sitting around moaning and groaning and consuming entirely too much Turkey. For those not familiar, Wild Turkey is the elixir of the Gods, a few shots and it kicks you where you live. A few more shots and you don't CARE where you live. A few more shots after that and you don't even KNOW where you live! Turkey should be consumed with the utmost respect, in direct correlation to the aches and pains, after all, we ARE using it for the medicinal value only. When circumstances are such that Turkey is not available, any comparable substitute will do. In SEVERE crisis, beer will do. The downside with beer is the quantity that must be consumed for similar pain relief requires a considerable amount of trips to the restroom, thereby INCREASING the aches and pains. For this reason, beer is not wholeheartedly advised. For those of you disinclined to natural cures of grain, corn, barley, and sugar, there's always aspirin. Have a great weekend!