BigDog Speaks

I don't like wasp. I think it has something to do with the fact that they have a foul disposition and can sting multiple times. Regardless of the reason, every so often I have to patrol and eliminate them from around my house. A particularly fine example of wasp nest was hanging on a leaf of our Bird of Paradise, literally dripping with wasps. I prefer the stealthy, long distance approach, I shoot foam for 10 or 12 feet, far enough to keep me removed from the action.

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My number one objective isn't killing the wasps, it is keeping me sting free. I prefer all my shots to be long distance and really hate the closeups. In our shed, there is no long distance available and it does not lend itself to hasty retreats either. The shed shots have to be dead on accurate or the results will be disastrous. Me running from a tiny wasp in the confines of a tiny shed could easily leave the shed wall-less. Yes, I am confident my bulk could tear down my shed if the need to flee came up. It is odd that someone of my size and girth could fear a critter so small but I REALLY don't like them. They have gotten me with sneak attacks too many times for me to have any compassion for them. I hate wasps and I patrol my premises with the sole intent of their destruction. I don't CARE how beneficial they might be, they have no business hiding in my gas grill waiting for me to open the lid so they can spring their attack. They have no business building fortresses right above the screen door to my porch so they can drop down out of the blue and sting me. They have no business being anywhere around me and I do my best to make it so. I carefully aim my foamy spray and let rip. This is immediately followed by a quick shuffle and a twirl and several steps. I'm sure my neighbors have appreciated my wasp waltz on several occasions and perhaps viewed from a great distance it might even look graceful. Then again, how graceful can a bald fat man running from wasps look? No matter, I perform my routine as often as necessary throughout the year. On average, I get stung two or three times per year. The dislike is mutual. The wasps don't like me, I don't like them, all is right with the world. Today, I am the winner, I have slain many and got stung none!